Toner_Low

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS

Continuing on the previous theme, my brother-in-law, who's also set to become a parent this summer, has let it be known that he's going to beat the crap out of the next person who tells him, "You know you won't be able to do anything fun once the kid comes along, right?" Yes, thanks to all the people who bring this up, but he and I are both well aware that our late night visits to strip clubs and our massive Oxycontin habits will, tearfully, soon become activities of our past as we take on the cruel burden of parenthood. Without the friendly warnings, we never would have figured it out.

Other questions the bro-in-law's not answering:

• When's the baby due?
• Do you have a name picked out? (This question doesn't bother me.)
• Do you know how to change diapers?
• Are you ready for this?

On a distantly-related note, Mr. Nice Guy has posted a list of questions he routinely asks his two-year-old even though he doesn't want an honest answer:

• are you ready to take your nap?
• haven't you had enough mac and cheese?
• how many times in a row can you watch "elmo's potty time?"
• can you say "i love you, daddy?"
• what, you think i'm scared of you?
• haven't we heard enough raffi for one day?
• do you think you can take your hand out of your diaper?
• are you happy now that you spilled daddy's coffee all over his keyboard?
• will you give me a hug?
• are you the cutest baby on earth?
• you don't really want a bottle now, do you?
• well, was that very smart?
• we don't have any pear yogurt. isn't peach yogurt good enough?
• where did you put mommy's panties?
• don't you want to live here with us forever and never grow up?
• did you just speed-dial my boss from my cell phone at 5:30 am?
• are you done crying?
• satisfied?
• how badly can you hurt yourself doing that?