Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Top Ten reasons why Toshiba announced it will no longer make HD DVD players.1) Once again, the American public won't tolerate a product with more than two Ds in its name.
2) On HD DVD discs, after putting in the commentary tracks, alternate endings, deleted scenes, cast and crew biographies, character pages, making-of documentaries, development materials, games, and previews, there was no room left for the dialogue.
3) The discs melted in temperatures over 80 degrees.
4) The discs cracked and shattered in temperatures under 70 degrees.
5) Because HD DVD is an older technology than Blu-Ray, it never could generate a satisfactory teal.
6) Toshiba's advertising campaign showing that buying Blu-Ray products was really supporting terrorism failed to make any headway in to the hearts, minds, and wallets of Americans.
7) When no one at Toshiba was looking, someone put out "Catwoman" and "Gigli" on the HD DVD format, thus generating a din of negative word-of-mouth.
8) Other than "The Bourne Stimulation" and "The *ucket List", there were no good adult titles available in the HD DVD format.
9) Fidel Castro said he would resign as Cuba's president rather than allow the "inferior" HD DVD discs into his country. Castro later announced that he would not accept another term as Cuba's president on the same day Toshiba announced it is stopping production on HD DVD players. Coincidence? Contacts at the State Department aren't talking.
10) Following Walter Cronkite's editorial report that HD DVD's war against Blu-Ray was unwinnable, Toshiba President and Chief Executive Officer Atsutoshi Nishida turned to Bill Moyers and said, "If I've lost Cronkite, I've lost America."
