Toner_Low

"Speed Racer" was expected to make between $30 to $35 million this
weekend at the box office. On Sunday night, it was estimated to have
taken in $20.2 million and come in 2nd place. When the box office
numbers were adjusted on Monday, it turned out that the Warner Bros.
cinematic extravaganza earned only $18.6 million, placing it 3rd behind
"Iron Man" and "What Happens in Vegas".


Top Ten Reasons why "Speed Racer" ran out
of gas this weekend.

-It was based on a 40-year-old cartoon(!)
-It was two hours and fifteen minutes long(!)
-In an homage to the 40-year old cartoon, the actors strived to be as
two-dimensional as possible.
-In an homage to the 40-year old cartoon, the actors to speak
super-quickly, as if trying to match English dialog to Japanese mouth
movements.
-In an homage to the 40-year old cartoon, the filmmakers worked hard to
ensure that gasps from the characters did not match when their mouths opened.
-Susan Sarandon saw this film as a chance to win a 2nd Oscar, thus her
performance is totally off-kilter from all of the others.
-Willy, the monkey playing Chim Chim, saw this film as his chance to win
his 1st Oscar, thus his performance was better than Sarandon's.
-Although they tried to hide it, all of the actors, except Willy, have
tremendous disdain for Japanese cartoons from the 1960's.
-Although they tried to hide it, all of the actors, except Willy, detest
driving cars.
-The writers/directors, the Wachowski brothers, brought in M. Night
Shyamalan to do a rewrite.

# posted by Test_Pilot @ 12:51 AM